Found scrawled on a scrap of paper:
Hi, so I had this thought. I have far too much time on my hands (no really, why wouldn't I?), so I wrote it out into a blog entry. If you are a die-hard bible fan and easily offended then please keep reading, because I just love comment flame wars. Who wouldn't?
Anyway, so if you read the bible backwards, then you realise that it's actually this story about a magician called Jesus who is called down from heaven for three days and then gets tired and takes a nap in a cave, rolling a boulder into place to ensure nobody disturbs him. Some Roman officials take issue with this, but when they wake him up, he's really groggy, so they crucify him to grab his attention. Once they've removed the spear that was stuck in his side and given him a drink, he perks up a bit, so they cut him down and take him to a board of inquiry to find out what's happened.
However, his friend Judas bribes some guy 30 shekels to find out where he's been taken, and then gets some Pharisees to help rescue him. Once that's over, Jesus thanks Judas especially and they have a slap up meal to celebrate. Jesus goes on to preach for a bit, and everyone's so sorry to see him go that they pick up all the palm leaves on the road out for him as a favour.
Unfortunately, Jesus turns out to be a bit of a party pooper. First, he finds 5,000 people having a picnic by a lake, and then takes all of their food away before calling them all dicks and leaving, with the whole crowd having nothing to eat but five loaves of bread and two fish. Then he goes to a party, sobers everyone up, and takes their wine away. Finally, he finds some guy who's recently recovered from a serious illness and kills him.
That's all I got.
